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32 Questions to Strengthen Your Relationship

questions to strengthen your relationship
By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your partner? Intimate conversations build trust and compassion, which deepen your connection and strengthen your relationship. So, if you need help initiating deep(er) conversations, today’s blog offers 32 questions to strengthen your relationship.

How Asking Questions (And Answering Honestly) Strengthens Your Relationship

Relational transparency — especially when it comes to sharing your thoughts and feelings — strengthens the bond you share with your partner. And engaging in “reciprocal self-disclosure” (revealing personal information about oneself to elicit self-disclosure from another) increases feelings of closeness.

So, whether you’re feeling distant or just wanting to get to know your partner on a deeper level, taking the time to talk and actively listen will grow intimacy and foster connection.

32 Questions to Strengthen Your Relationship

Opening up to others can feel intimidating. However, asking thoughtful questions creates an opportunity to feel both seen and heard. So, if you want to build emotional intimacy, we recommend delving beyond the simple, close-ended questions and trying to understand what…

  • Your partner presently needs
  • Ideas factor into their character today
  • Values and goals make up their heart’s desires
  • Thoughts and events shaped your partner’s past

Here are some deep(er) questions to get you started:

Questions About Their Childhood

  1. What were your first words as a child?
  2. What did you like the most about where you grew up? What did you like the least?
  3. Did you have a childhood hero? Who was it? And why?
  4. What or who has influenced your life decisions the most?
  5. How are you different from your younger self? What caused that change?
  6. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

About Your Relationship

  1. What did you think when you first saw me?
  2. Name three traits of mine that made you fall in love with me?
  3. Explain the image that comes to mind when you think of me.
  4. What is something about our relationship that used to bother you, but you’ve now grown to accept?
  5. What is something you did to impress me in the early phases of our relationship?
  6. Is there a saying that best describes our relationship? If so, why?
  7. What’s the most surprising thing about love?
  8. Which color describes our relationship? And what word matches that color?
  9. What’s your love language?
  10. What goals do you have for our relationship?
  11. Has your outlook changed regarding our relationship? If so, how?

Questions About Themselves

  1. What is something that used to bother you about yourself that you’ve learned to accept?
  2. What is your most treasured possession?
  3. Is anything missing in your life?
  4. How have you changed in the last year? How have I changed?
  5. Have your goals changed in life? How so?
  6. Do you have any recurring dreams?
  7. How do you compare yourself to your parents?
  8. What’s your mission in life?
  9. Tell me about what you’re excited about right now.
  10. What is a piece of wisdom you’ve learned by observing someone you dislike?
  11. If you could have one magical power, what would it be?
  12. What is one of your biggest worries about the future?
  13. Who in your life is most stressful? Why?
  14. What are some unfulfilled things in your life right now?
  15. What did you do to pull yourself out of the darkest time in your life?

Why Emotional Intimacy Matters in a Healthy Relationship

Emotional intimacy is all about revealing your true self to your partner. Basically, it fosters feelings of trust and connection that keep your relationship going. In a way, you can think of emotional intimacy as putting “no filter” on your relationship – your partner understands who you authentically are and loves you for it.

Studies show that emotional intimacy boosts overall satisfaction in relationships. And for some couples, it’s more important than sexual intimacy. Overall, research suggests that couples with low emotional intimacy feel uncertain or dissatisfied with their relationship. And because of this dissatisfaction, they’re more likely to be unfaithful.

So, if you and your partner are struggling to connect, the couples therapists at Fort Wellness Counseling are here for you. Head to our website to learn more or contact our team today.

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