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How to Get Over a Breakup

By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP
how to get over a breakup

Breaking up with a romantic partner is painful – no matter the reason or who is behind it. Research tells us that our brains process breakups the same way we process physical pain. And navigating the aftermath can feel akin to navigating trauma or grief.

If you’re wondering how to get over a breakup, our Fort Worth therapists are here to help. Today’s blog reveals how long it takes to get over a breakup, as well as some helpful coping tips for working through one.

How Long to Get Over a Breakup

Research confirms that individuals who go through a breakup experience symptoms of grief. And those symptoms can affect you both physically and mentally.

Because everyone’s relationship and breakup experience differs, there’s no timeline or magic formula for getting over a breakup. However, the degree to which the couple’s lives are intertwined plays a role. An older study found that couples who lived together and had plans to marry experienced a greater decline in life satisfaction following a breakup than couples who did not.

Additionally, individuals who understood why a relationship ended experienced greater positive outcomes — like increased relational satisfaction and fewer instances of romantic conflict in future relationships — than those who did not. It’s also hard to answer the how long question because every relationship is different, and the answer can be totally different if you were married for 25 years vs. a boyfriend or girlfriend for 6 months.  Not to mention, the reasons for which led you to breakup can be completely different.  

Tips for Getting Over a Breakup

Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula for how to get over a breakup. However, these healthy coping strategies might help:

Try (Positive) Journaling

Journaling for 15 to 30 minutes daily can help you process your breakup – especially when you focus on the positive aspects of the split. One study found that people who journaled about the positive aspects of a breakup experienced greater comfort, confidence, happiness, and relief than those who journaled about the negative or neutral topics. Can’t do 15 minutes? Even 5 minutes while you drink your cup of coffee in the morning can help. 

Turn Inward

Use the aftermath of a breakup to focus on yourself. Pursue your pleasures, allow yourself to enjoy your favorite activities, and surround yourself with loving, supportive people. Do more of what makes you happy! 

Don’t Judge Yourself

Try not to criticize your post-breakup self. The more you’re able to allow yourself to feel your feelings and make space for your personal experience, the more you’re able to move on to the next phase of your life. If a song comes on the radio that makes you tearful, embrace that. Sit with that emotion and allow yourself to experience. Don’t try to stuff it. That’s repressing your emotions and can cause them to build up and come out in unhealthy ways.   

Try Not to Demonize Your Ex

Whenever you’re looking back on your past relationship, try to remember it in its entirety. If you ignore the good and focus only on the bad, you can become consumed by feelings of bitterness and resentment. 

Prioritize Your Health

It’s easy to neglect your basic needs after breaking up. However, getting quality sleep supports your healing process. Additionally, engaging in regular physical activity eases symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress associated with the breakup. Resistance training was found to be most effective against depressive symptoms, while yoga and mind-body exercises helped manage symptoms of anxiety. 

Fort Worth Therapists

If you’re wondering how to get over a breakup, therapy can help. If you find yourself struggling to complete daily tasks — like sleeping, eating, and focusing at work — we encourage you to speak with one of our Fort Worth therapists. 

We use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help people overcome breakups. Essentially, it’s an evidence-based approach to talk therapy that focuses on changing thought patterns. Contact our team to book an introductory consultation.

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