As a relationship therapist and marriage counselor in Fort Worth, I’m sometimes met with couples who admit they have dragged their feet to schedule their initial appointment. One or both partners share they have concerns with the meaning of therapy. They often believe bad things are to come!
This circumstance makes me think of a quote from poet, Erin Hanson: “What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”
I think too often we place focus on the negative. It can be scary to try something new. But what I think is even scarier, is not doing anything at all.
Now I don’t know who said this, but I’ve heard it in different variations. I’ll put it this way: Personal growth comes from stepping out of your comfort zone and change needs personal growth. This implies being an active participant and expressing awareness of a need for change to occur if a relationship is experiencing troubles.
It is very common to consider couples therapy as a strategy to work through relationship issues. Some couples are on the same page and feel very comfortable with seeking therapy with a therapist. However, other partners may have conflicting views about therapy or they share the same discomfort with attending therapy sessions.
Be that as it may, the toughest part for me, as a relationship therapist, is when one partner coerces the other begrudgingly to session. Not everyone will be ready for couples therapy at the same time. So, what can you do?
Below are four strategies to consider if you are still on the fence about therapy.
There is a plethora of wonderful self-help books available in bookstores and online. There are numerous books on relationship help, self-esteem issues, depression, anxiety, attachment issues, boundary problems, etc. I keep a list of some of my favorite books for those clients of mine that are interested.
Again. So many different options out there! Many therapists and counselors offer their knowledge in a variety of therapy and self-care podcasts. This is a great way to get current information while driving to work or making dinner or picking up your kids. There is less commitment to a podcast than reading a whole book. You can pick and choose the material you believe will give you the most benefit.
Turn to those who you admire and view as good role models. Or you may consider talking to someone who has gone through similar relational issues. Whomever you confide in, should exhibit an objective stance and express support without turning your partner into the bad guy or gal!
Here’s a tough one. Make a list of the top three negative behaviors that play a role in your relationship problems. Don’t think about your partner’s behaviors; just your own. If for instance, active listening is an issue for you, Google it! Look over the tips to active listening and practice them. If you notice your partner has active listening problems, don’t make it your mission to set them straight. Stay focused on you!
Coming to couples therapy does not mean you are headed to divorce or a breakup. But if you don’t make any positive changes, with or without therapy, chances are greater that you could be headed there anyway. Whatever you do, do something about it! No one else is going to make these changes for you
Zully Schultz is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and co-owner/founder of Reconnecting Relationships Therapy. She received her training at The Parenting Center and The Glick House while she worked toward her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy. She made the decision to receive a higher education in counseling at Texas Wesleyan University in Fort Worth, TX after undergoing her own therapy to work through intergenerational trauma. She became aware of the impact her history had on her current relationships and sought professional help to address those issues. She has great interest in helping individuals and couples connect authentically and to communicate effectively. She is married to her husband of 23 years, and they share two daughters, ages 21 and 17. Zully also begins her new role as the new president-elect for the Fort Worth Area Association for Marriage and Family Therapy in February 2022.
Medical Trauma: Understanding and Healing from Difficult Healthcare Experiences By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Over the years, I’ve come to understand that for
Social Media Depression: Beyond FOMO to Algorithm-Induced Mood Change By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP I’ve seen this happen so many times with patients,
How to Wind Down at Night: Simple Sleep Hygiene Tips By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Sleep hygiene might sound like a fancy term,
Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety Treatment in Fort Worth By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Have you or a loved one experienced anxiety during pregnancy
Breaking the ‘New Year, New Me’ Mindset: A Guide to Sustainable Change By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP In my years as a therapist,
How to Support a Partner with Chronic Illness: A Mental Health Perspective By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Living with a chronic illness can
EMDR for Attachment Issues: Building Healthy Relationships By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP When you hear “EMDR therapy” (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), you
How to Deal with a Narcissistic Partner By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Do you ever feel like your partner thinks they’re better than
How to Recover from Burnout By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Burnout is a common struggle in today’s fast-paced world. Life’s relentless demands can
The Benefits of Attending Couples Counseling By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP There’s a misconception about couples counseling – that it signals the end
Things to Know About Individual Counseling in Fort Worth, TX By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a good
Everything You Need to Know About EMDR Therapy By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Have you heard about EMDR therapy and want to learn
What is Nature Therapy? (And Why You Should Be Doing It!) By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Let’s face it: there’s just something about
The Benefits of Virtual Therapy in Texas By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Technology is changing everything, and healthcare is no different! Thanks to
How to Get Over a Breakup By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Breaking up with a romantic partner is painful – no matter the reason
How to Set New Year’s Resolutions By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP How to Set New Year’s Resolutions Setting goals gives us a sense
How to Cope with Holiday Stress By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Say No to Prevent Burnout There are an abundance of obligations that
Trauma Therapy in Fort Worth: Types, Benefits & More By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Believe it or not, an estimated 60% of men
How to Communicate Better in Relationships By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Whether with coworkers or your significant other, the ability to communicate effectively
How to Prevent Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP If you’re struggling with winter blues, know you’re not alone. SAD
What is a Functioning Alcoholic? By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP When someone is deemed a ‘high-functioning alcoholic,’ they’re able to carry out daily
How to Help Yourself – And Others – with Suicidal Ideation By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP September is Suicide Awareness Month. And while
32 Questions to Strengthen Your Relationship By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your
The Fawn Response: How Trauma Can Lead to People Pleasing By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Do you often find yourself putting the needs
How to Overcome ‘Hangxiety’ (Post-Drinking Anxiety) By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Thought the consequences of drinking heavily were merely physical? Unfortunately, you’ll have
What is Box Breathing? Plus Tips for Beginners By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Ever heard of box breathing? This popular relaxation technique involves
Do Mindfulness Exercises for Anxiety Work? By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Do mindfulness exercises for anxiety work? If you (or people in your
What is Trauma Bonding? 4 Warning Signs By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship and felt bonded
Why Do We Cry? 4 Reasons and Crying Benefits By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP There’s no getting around it – crying is part
What Is Habit Stacking? (And How to Do It) By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Supporting our mental health is one of those goals
5 Tips for Living with Someone with OCD By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP While living with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) can be demanding, living
What is Assertive Communication? By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP So, what is assertive communication? Well, in a nutshell, this communication style aims to
PTSD Counseling in Fort Worth: Proven Coping Strategies By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP For those who didn’t already know, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Brainspotting vs. EMDR: What’s the Difference? By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP According to the National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 70% of American adults
Mindfulness Exercises to Strengthen Your Recovery By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Are you recovering from alcohol and/or substance abuse? Self-improvement is a life-long
How to Find a Counselor in Fort Worth By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Are you considering therapy? If so, finding a counselor in
How To Not Be Codependent In A Relationship By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Wondering how to not be codependent in a relationship? Sometimes
What is Parental Anxiety? Coping Tips from a Therapist By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Every parent wants to shield their child from danger
What is EMDR Therapy? By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Ever heard of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy? More commonly known as EMDR,
8 Proven Tips to Sleep Better at Night (and Improve Your Mental Health) By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Struggling with restless nights and
How to Have a Healthy Relationship with Social Media By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP In today’s world, there’s no escaping the presence of
What Is The Goal of Psychotherapy? By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Have you been considering psychotherapy? The start of a new year is
What is Brainspotting Therapy? By: Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP Brainspotting therapy is a kind of alternative therapy that is gaining immense popularity in
Healing After an Affair: 7 Strategies for Affair Recovery Rane Wallace, MS, LPC, LCDC, SAP It doesn’t matter who you are – working through an
12 Benefits of Gratitude By: Rane Wallace, LPC, LCDC, SAP With Thanksgiving coming to a close, we thought it was fitting to explore the link
